A Canadian gal in Stuttgart, Germany, who loves nothing better than crafting by the seat of her pants. See her snip, sew, knit, knot, glue, sculpt, splatter, spin, and of course, talk about herself.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007
Change of scenery
I really want to thank all of you for your support. Being so far from my friends and family, and not having many close friends here in Germany can make things especially difficult, so it's nice to know I'm not alone :)

I should probably say that, although I was already planning to go back to Canada sometime this year, what is creating so much uncertainty is that whereas before I was planning to make the trip with my partner and find a place to settle down and maybe start a family. Now it looks like I will have to take the trip alone. Matthias is no longer sure if he's ready for the move, and neither know if our relationship will survive it even if we were. It seems like all of a sudden I have no idea where I'm going, or what my future looks like. For a variety of reasons, we've agreed that I will go back earlier than planned and that he will come to visit so we can figure out if we can still find a way to make this work. In any case, I need to go home. I have frequently gotten homesick living here up to the point where I was constantly getting sick and periods of several weeks where I couldn't sleep properly. I'm sure this hasn't helped, or the fact that the only reason I've endured it this long is for the sake of the relationship. I think it's time for me to try and put my life back together in a way that I'm happy living, with or without a partner. Now it's just a matter of figuring out how.

Tomorrow morning I will be flying to Ireland for 5 days and try to both relax and get back a better sense of myself. Sometimes between all stress and chaos of day to day life, it's easy to loose touch with your heart, with that inner sense we all have that tells us what's really important.

Funnily enough, I will be going with Matthias' mom. Luckily, we have always been good friends, and she doesn't yet know about the problems we're having. I haven't decided yet if I will talk to her about it, because I'm just not sure where my own head is at yet. But I love her dearly and am crazy about Ireland, so I think the trip will do me good. I'll do my best to take some nice pictures to show off when I come back, though I'm not sure what the landscape is like there this time of year. We'll see!
The pictures above were taken last weekend when I went to Strasbourg with a couple of friends. It lies on the border with France and is quite beautiful. There are a few more pictures on my flickr page. Thanks again all of you for being so understanding, and I promise I will be stopping by to visit all of you more often when I get back. Have a great week!
love and hugs,
Tatjana

Labels:

posted by tatjana @ 10:00 PM  
4 Comments:
  • At Sunday, February 18, 2007 9:54:00 AM, Anonymous Ash said…

    wow, this all sounds so hard and so unsettling for you. *hugs* I hope that your trip to Ireland helps.

      Edit Comment
  • At Sunday, February 18, 2007 5:50:00 PM, Anonymous A Fanciful Twist said…

    Love and hugs and caring and hope, all bundled up in a paper package with a lovely ribbon...Just for you. May it open and unfold the true path when you return to Canada. Like I said, our path sometimes can only get our attention of the fact that it is supposed to take a different and wonderful turn, by throwing a huge boulder in the road that we run over and cracks a hole in our transmission, forcing us to stop, and make the right turn...I have been in places like this, and they have all, miraculously turned out beautfully...My path is nothing I ever ever thought it would be and it is glorious. Take a deep breath and know, you are headed to the place you are intended to be. Sometimes, partners are put on hold in our paths to remind us of all the other people, like family, that we have to share our hearts with...In the end, there is very little that matters...And the people we love always seem to be the important point. Good Luck and good thoughts with you every step of the way!!

      Edit Comment
  • At Monday, February 19, 2007 12:54:00 PM, Blogger .x.Helen.x. said…

    If you're getting stressed, sick and losing sleep, then your head is not is the right place to be dealing with this stuff and making the best decisions. Hopefully Ireland will give you the time you need to look after yourself and recharge! I know how horrible it feels right now (was in a similar situation a few years ago, having to make the reverse decision to leave Canada to move home to Europe. Me and my guy didnt make it but we weren't supposed to. And it put me in a better place literally and mentally to meet my fiance).Whatever happens, you will come out the other side and you will be stronger for it. My thoughts are with you!

      Edit Comment
  • At Monday, February 19, 2007 6:01:00 PM, Blogger AR said…

    I hope the trip helps, and you figure out what's best for you. I'll be thinking of you. ((hugs))

      Edit Comment
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