| Thursday, January 11, 2007 |
| Houston, we have a problem |
First, a very happy new year to all of you. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and is coping with all the wacky weather, whether too warm or too snowy, that seems to be occuring everywhere. I had a bit more than a week off altogether, and spent it alternately frantically repainting or applying stucco in our apartment and lazing around with my honey.
In spite of bits of knittery here and there, as well as other goings on to share, I've been really struggling to get on the blog wagon again. It seems lately I've been in a much more quiet, keep to myself kind of mood. The kind where you're not really up for company, because you're just content to putter around in your own little craft world. I think, in part, this has been brought on by all the social activity, which sometimes brings on the urge for some nice, quiet alone time but there's also something else. I sometimes have a bad habit of stressing myself out about things I'm supposed to enjoy, like blogging, or crafting. And of course, when something becomes stressful, it's just no fun anymore. And if you're a procrastinator, like I often am, you just start putting it off. Does this happen to anyone else? Am I the only one who gets her knickers in a knot about her blog?
I realize a blog is, in part, supposed to be like a journal. You write what you like, when you like, and it doesn't matter because it's just for you. But noone reads your journal. At least, they're not supposed to. And most importantly, you don't go around looking at other people's journals. I think my biggest problem, not only with regard to blogging, but with a lot of things, is that once I see how great a blog, a handknit sweater, an anything can be, I want mine to be that too. I can't just have a blog, it has to be a great blog, a gorgeous sweater, the most beautiful handspun. Man, sometimes I wish I could just give it a break.
In spite of my very chaotic nature, I've always been someone who needed a mission. For a long time it was my goal to pursue international development and help the poor, but when that became impossible (at least, in the way I had planned) I felt kinda stranded. I think part of me thought I could make a mission out of craftiness, developing a niche for myself where I could design, sell, and promote crafty goods, which I think of as not only creatively fulfilling, but also socially positive, because it encourages independent business and people to buy things which are not produced in a way that exploits others.
But the thing is, I'm a fairly new crafter. I was never encouraged to make things as a child and for a long time was really intimidated about making things. I even thought that doing something like that just because I enjoyed it, was not a good enough reason. I thought I had to use my time to study more, work more hours, do things for others, or further my career. It was a big step for me to go for it, just because I wanted to. I really should be happy with the fact that in less than 3 years, I've learned to do all sorts of crafty things and made many things that anyone could be proud of. I need to stop thinking that what I do is worthwhile only if I'm a total craft goddess, who is not only able to make a career out of what they make, but be an example and source of help for others. I need to come to terms with the fact that, at this point in my life, I don't have the time, the creative energy, or the skill to be one of those superbloggers with a 1000 readers who are able to churn out unbelievably beautiful/adorable/brilliant things on an almost daily basis. And you know what? That's ok.
Who knows, maybe someday I'll get to the point where I can be a full-time crafter, maybe I'll go back to science, maybe I'll follow the advice of one of the students in my workshop who said I should be a teacher (is that a compliment or what? :D ). But for now, I'm really going to try and let my crafting just take it's own course without stressing myself out about it.
Hmmm, that smells suspiciously of new year's resolution. Funny, I never had one of those before! I guess there's a first time for everything ;) Anyway, the pictures here are a couple things I've made (sorta) recently and some scrumptious new additions to my button stash which I may never actually bring myself to use LOL. With any luck, I'll be back again soon with a picture of some fingerless mitts I made as Christmas gifts and a soon to be completed baby sweater for one my girlfriends back home.
   Labels: Life |
posted by tatjana @ 1:10 p.m.   |
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| 3 Comments: |
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I can get that way, too. I just have to snap myself out of it. By the way, I love your blog, and I'm glad you're back. Those cards are really neat, too. :)
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I feel exactly the same way. I like what you said about letting the crafting take it's own course.
Me thinks we think alot alike!
Cool socks and buttons!!
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Wow, I could have written this. :) I've come to the same conclusion. We'll get there! And what pretty cable lace socks. Whence does the pattern come? *sending some Canadian snow your way*
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I can get that way, too. I just have to snap myself out of it. By the way, I love your blog, and I'm glad you're back. Those cards are really neat, too. :)
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