A Canadian gal in Stuttgart, Germany, who loves nothing better than crafting by the seat of her pants. See her snip, sew, knit, knot, glue, sculpt, splatter, spin, and of course, talk about herself.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009
Sometimes there's no getting around the fact that you still need your blog
I haven't written in a long time. There are a variety of reasons for this, some banal, some interesting. Too busy with work, or looking for a place to live (there has been a lot of that this year), too busy falling in love, too busy getting my heart broken. Or during one period where I thought I was going to have a lot of time on my hands and thought 'Hey! Let's update the blog!' - too busy running off to Paris instead and spending the week with friend who just happens to be a Colombian circus performer (yes, he's hot too lol!). Yeah, it's been a crazy year.

But the time has come where I am no longer able to deny it. I still need my blog. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and something tells me I should try and put some of it down here. I'd kinda like to think that maybe some day it will be stumbled upon by someone going through the same thing and maybe, just maybe it will help. Even just a little. Maybe there are other women out there who are young, just starting out in life, haven't had a chance to think about marriage and family yet, whose future seems like a wide open pasture of possibilities until they are taken by surprise by very hard and frightening truth that I have had to face this past year: cervical cancer.

I'm not even sure where to begin in expressing what knowledge like that feels like. I think the first thing I felt was fear - breath stealing, blood curdling fear. In an instant I saw all things I assumed would come along some day and that now may never happen: laying a hand on my big, pregnant belly, holding my newborn child for the first time, watching my mother glow with pride at being a grandmother again.

But what I am sure of, and what has gotten me this far, is that I will not and have not let this taken over my life. My very full, colourful, precious, full of love life. And just to affirm this that much more, I want to take a blogging again, crafting again, interacting with more creative people again; things that I value but which have fallen a bit by the wayside. As a bit of a jumpstart I finally posted a couple pics to the wardrobe_remixbefore. I thought this could motivate me have more fun with the way I look (bald head and all lol!) and get the old creative juices flowing. I have no clue how to take a decent self-portrait, but I'm hoping that will come with practice. For the record, the outside shot posted here was taken by my boyfriend Victor :) group on Flickr, a really awesome pool for those interested in street fashion and personal style, which I’ve mentioned

And just to show that I am still knitting and making things, here is the latest fruit of my labours, a project I once feared I would never get done, a lovely cable cardigan knit in the most gorgeous shade of green alpaca. And with a delicate lace trim no less! I don't think I've ever been so in love with something made by my own to hands!

posted by tatjana @ 5:17 p.m.  
  • At Friday, March 20, 2009 3:04:00 p.m., Anonymous SugarCain said…

    I stumbled on your blog from another... You look beautiful--don't worry about the hair! How about a photo in the wonderful alpaca sweater? I can't knit, but I'll be watching for more wonders from you.

      Edit Comment
  • At Monday, March 23, 2009 12:46:00 a.m., Blogger .x.Helen.x. said…

    Hi honey. I saw via Ravelry that you were online again and then read this post. SugarCain is right - you are really rocking the headscarf look. Sending you good wishes. Hugs, Helen

      Edit Comment
  • At Friday, April 03, 2009 7:51:00 p.m., Blogger Gaby said…

    Hola Tatjiana,
    que bueno verte escribir otra vez!!! Siento lo de tu enfermedad; pero me gusta verte con tan buen ánimo!!!
    Te mando mis mejores deseos para que pronto te recuperes!

    me encantó el cardi:)
    un beso

      Edit Comment
  • At Saturday, April 04, 2009 11:20:00 p.m., Blogger Mrs Knitaddict said…

    Glad I found your blog.
    Hope your are feeling better, you look lovely with that scarf.
    I love your new cardy!
    A kiss,

      Edit Comment
  • At Sunday, April 05, 2009 12:57:00 a.m., Blogger http://afancifultwist.typepad.com said…

    I thought about you sooo much when you disappeared from the blogoshpere. Then I was sooo delighted to see you back. No I am here reading. My limbs went weak reading your story. I can't believe everything you have gone through...

    I don't have the words to express my feelings, I hug you, I send good filled vibes. YOu have a great outlook, and you look beyond lovely with your head scarf.

    All I can say is, I am sooo glad you are back, and I am wishing all the best things for you! xoxoxoxo

      Edit Comment
  • At Thursday, April 09, 2009 7:20:00 p.m., Blogger Kim said…

    Hey!! I finally go back to check our blog, and this is what I find? Holy cow, woman! I'm definitely glad you're back online - and you look gorgeous!

    Lotsa hugs!!


      Edit Comment
  • At Monday, April 13, 2009 12:38:00 a.m., Blogger Veronica TM said…

    oh, tatjana, i am so sorry you have to go through this! i was misdiagnosed with ovarian cancer a few months ago and i felt the same, paralyzing fear at the beginning.
    i am glad you are still keeping your life colourful and precious.
    you look so beautiful! and that cardigan is just gorgeous.
    so glad you are back.
    millones de besos y abrazos.

      Edit Comment
  • At Tuesday, April 14, 2009 6:45:00 a.m., Blogger AnastasiaC said…

    Hey girly
    I had no idea!!!
    so glad to see your blog post pop up in my email - its been ages!!
    Wow what you have gone through! its SO good to hear you are feeling better, keeping strong...you look really good by the way...hope its one way to health all the way!!!
    hugs to you - that cardigan is just beautiful too clever gal!!!

      Edit Comment
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