All I could think was....WOW. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I really love my boss. He is brilliant, charismatic, and best of all, completely supportive of all his staff and students. As I'm sure a lot of you know, not the easiest thing to find in a boss. So being this valued by this person that I have nothing but admiration for....well, let me tell you I've had some serious hot damn in my step the last couple weeks :)

But. The problem was, and I know I've bitched about this, is that I was less than happy in Stuttgart. So although I big part of me wanted to pack my bags, there was also apart yelling "Don't do it!!!" Hence the big fat confusion. But I've done a lot of thinking about this, and conducted several long distance phone calls of obscene length with the boy I left behind, and Alissa, my best German friend, who I've been missing like crazy. She was the one who made me remember that life is so much more than what I had let mine become, that I could and had to make it wonderful and beautiful. And best of all, she convinced me that a wonderful life is just what I deserve.

I've thought about all sorts of things that I can change, to help me put my life together the way I want it, and not just let things run themselves, particularly in the relationship department, which really played havoc with basically everthing else in my life. For starters, I could look at places in the city, instead of going back to live in the crabby suburbs (I have nothing against suburbs in general, btw, but Stuttgart suburbs really suck! ) Since I would have the security of at least a 3 year contract, I could get myself a car if I want, meaning I could drive to lovely little ancient places whenever I want, even on a Wednesday afternoon, because my boss is always very wonderfully flexible, even though my boy's boss, and therefore him and his car, are not. And the final verdict???

I'm going to do it.

But unlike before, when I arrived in Germany a starving student, unsure how I was going to support myself, and for who it was very easy to become dependent on a stable, comfortable relationship, this time I can stand on my own and call my own shots. I can build my life the way I want it to be, and gather around me those special few that I found who made my life bearable and then, after a time, pretty darn good.

Oh, and in crafty news, of course my projects are all in a tizzy as well....I was going crazy finishing some freelance stuffs so my tank is still waiting in the wings to get done. In the midst of my stress I decided it would make me feel better to buy more yarn at Toronto's own Knitomatic, which of course I immediately had to play with. If you hit the link, it's the Candy Apple colour, which is really more crimson than the name would suggest. I'm totally in love with this knit top I found somewhere, but I would have to figure out a pattern myself. I'm not sure I could get the same cable pattern, since it's pretty complex, but I think it would look just as nice with a simpler pattern over the waist section. And I've been working on my first Entrelace, thanks to a lovely girl I met at my first knit meet up. Katherine is opening up her own yarn shop (how awesome is that!?!?) and needed someone to test knit the Trekking XXL, that she may be stocking. She was so happy when she saw what I was doing with it, she says she will have to show it off. So that sock in progress up there is one of a pair that will be on display in the store when it opens next month. Yay! My first knit-on-display :) Any of you Interweave Knits readers will notice the pattern is Eunny Jang's Entrelac Socks pattern, from this year's spring issue. Except I'm only using one colourway, and they will be regular length, instead of knee socks. I am all kinds of happy at how perfect the stitch pattern shows off the colours of the Trekking. I swear I never dreamed I'd be this into socks. Wool socks even. But then, I never thought I'd be moving back to Germany either. I guess I should just get used to surprises :D

**ETA - I figured out where I saw the knit top...it was posted by Amy over at Angry Chicken and is on sale here. Theoretically, I could buy one, but I just checked and like many online shops they do not ship to Canada :P But I think it would be more fun to knit one anyway, and how cute will that top look in a deep red?? ;D